1. Age is just a number. Mine’s unlisted.
I’ve lived through husbands, heartbreak, three wars, and a perm that nearly ended me. You think a little judgment scares me?
2. We do not apologize for taking up space.
We’ve earned every inch, every wrinkle, every opinion, and every loud-ass laugh in the middle of a quiet room.
3. Bedazzle everything — especially your regrets.
Life’s too short for beige. Add rhinestones, glitter, or gasoline. Your choice.
4. Respect is earned. Manners are optional.
Say “please” if you mean it. Say “bless your heart” if you don’t. And never let the HOA tell you how to landscape.
5. Craft like your ex is watching.
Messy, unhinged, and with the kind of flair that gets you banned from the church craft fair.
6. We don’t chase trends. We chase whiskey.
Or tequila. Or the mailman, depending on the day. Point is — we set our own style and don’t wait for approval.
7. Speak truth. Stir the pot. Pass the pie.
Raise your voice, raise a little hell, and always bring dessert.
8. Family isn’t always blood.
Sometimes it’s glitter-stained women who’d help you bury a body. (Just kidding. Mostly.)
9. The only rules we follow are the ones we write.
And even then, we reserve the right to rewrite them over cocktails.
10. We are BADGMA.
We make art, we make noise, we make a damn difference. If that makes you uncomfortable, there’s the door. Try not to let it hit you in the dignity.